7 ways to celebrate your palentines
My husband and I don’t do Valentines. At most, we use it as an excuse to eat a nice meal out. Which is why, every single year, I forget that Valentines is coming up until the outfit posts and marketing campaigns start popping up on my social media feed. While romance and romantic love are wonderful, I also think that Valentine’s Day is a nice reminder to show non-romantic love to our family and friends, à la Galentine’s Day. Regardless of gender, I think sharing how we feel about each other gives us a rare but important opportunity to be vulnerable and build up relationships. Too many of us feel isolated right now, especially because of the pandemic, so why not let someone know that you’re thinking of them?
Here some ideas for what you can do to spread the love and let the non-romantic relationships in your life know what they mean to you.
P.S. I am 100% writing this post for myself as well. I’m working on ensuring that my friends and family know how special they are and the role that they play in my life. I don’t think we say it enough and that we shouldn’t wait until big events, like birthdays (or God forbid, death), come along.
1. Post something sweet
Sure, you could send out a bunch of lovely text messages to friends, but we all know the excitement of receiving something in the post. The time and effort of finding a nice card or piece of paper, physically writing down your thoughts and then posting or delivering the note speaks volumes, and gives you a chance to actually reflect on that what relationship means to you. If you want to add a flower, a small hand-made gift or baking, it’s completely up to you. Here are some helpful prompts that you could use for your love note:
‘I just wanted to say thanks for… ‘
‘One of my favourite memories of us is when… ‘
‘I think you are… ‘
‘Let’s make a plan to catch up. How about… ‘
2. Bring food
Say it with food! Unless you’re one of those people who only eat for sustenance, most of us will enjoy a surprise snack or sweet treat. Again, it’s the thought that counts. You don’t have to include a note, but the effort of remembering their favourite snack or bringing them something that suits their food intolerances can make a person feel thought of and loved. My go-to bake is brownies – easy to make in bulk, can easily be made gf or vegan, pleases most people.
3. Send a voice message
This is something I never would have considered doing until very recently when I started receiving a few over Instagram messages. At first, I was a bit alarmed because voice mail usually means I’ve missed a call and it’s something important or I don’t know who the caller is. Instead, these voice messages were sweet and conversational, just a little note or memo that were lovely to listen to. I particularly enjoy how sending a voice mail or recorded voice message over text can be casually done but still feel very meaningful. Like this woman who shared a voice mail she had saved from her dad which went viral after she posted it on TikTok.
4. Pick up the phone
I recently told a friend that I miss the days when we’d call each other after dinner via our family’s landline. Before cellphones, I probably talked to my friends a lot more because calls were one of the few ways we could communicate with each other. Spurred on by that reflection, I’ve sporadically given friends and family an impromptu phone call just to see how they’re doing. I think a lot of us can be put off by talking over the phone but I encourage you to use Valentine’s Day to make a small list of people you want to ring up and give it a go. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how good I’ve felt after hanging up the phone.
5. Message that ‘one day’ person
Do you constantly hear yourself saying, ‘One day I’ll get to this?’ Make Valentine’s Day the day you contact that friend, relative or acquaintance you’ve been meaning to touch base with. ‘One day’ can only turn into ‘Today’ if you set an intention and plan it in to your schedule. I often try to sit down and literally list the people I haven’t talked to in a while. Reaching out can look like a simple text, but this is a really good relationship hygiene action to practice.
6. Host a shared meal
Food and shared meals are a big deal for me and my family. Most of our meaningful catch ups happen over kai. However, I’ve noticed that unless sharing a meal regularly is part of your family’s culture, it can be surprisingly hard to initiate these sorts of gatherings. Special meals don’t have to occur on traditionally special days. Be the person who initiates or organises a catch up over food. You’d be surprised at how often people appreciate the effort and thank you for making that shared time happen.
7. Offer to babysit or help out
This idea is particularly for my fellow neurodivergent kin. If you’re looking for a way to practically love on someone over Valentine’s Day weekend, see if you can identify a task, errand or activity that would lighten the load for your loved ones. Especially if someone you know has ADHD, a mental health issue, a chronic illness, or they’re just juggling a lot, it can be really tough to get simple or everyday tasks done, let alone find time for quality rest. Reach out and offer to do chores, do the grocery shop, babysit the kids, drive them to an appointment, etc. This is a great way we can start living in community in a meaningful and practical way.
I’m going to be taking a note out of my own blog post and do something from this list before Valentine’s Day next Monday. Whatever you choose to do or however you choose to show love, let Valentines Day be the deadline you might need to do something nice for your non-romantic relationships.
Do you have any other ideas of how we can show love to our family, friends or workmates? Would love to hear it!
